These days at home have really opened my eyes to the reality of the so-called "stay at home parent." I never thought a stay at home mom/dad had it "easy." But I spent a good part of my day today reflecting on the unique role of the stay at home parent - the challenges, joys, ups and downs.
One challenge is that there is nothing really scheduled in the day. Your day just sort of follows the flow of what is happening with your child at that moment. Thankfully, today was a good day for Aleli. She wasn't too fussy and was in a pretty good eat/play/sleep routine. But I can imagine days when a child may be sick, cranky, over-tired, and just not in a good mood. When things go wrong with your child, your entire day goes wrong.
This free-flowing day is in sharp contrast with a normal work day in which there are set times for work to start, eating lunch, appointments, meetings, deadlines, etc. There is a time to do something, it gets done, and you move on. But during days at home, the question constantly runs in the back of my mind, "What should I do now? What should I do next?"
I found myself jumping from small task to small task - dishes, straightening the house, feed Aleli, help her get settled, call the bank, make more formula, check the mail, change a diaper. This sort of ongoing mini-task attack continued all day. By noon, I realized that I had not showered. Then by 3pm, I debated to myself about whether or not I really needed to shower today. Finally, but 4:30 when Kellye came home, I jumped in the shower and put on relatively clean clothes (ie, no spit up stains).
In short, I gained a new level of respect for stay at home parents today. Like I said, I always knew it was a respectable job, but I felt like today I experienced a little bit more. It wasn't my first day home with Aleli alone, and it won't be my last, but it was day in which I intentionally recognized the unique challenges of the job of being a stay at home parent.
However, I also gained a deep envy for those parents who get to stay at home with their children. Aleli and I shared some special moments today such as going to the store, laughing with each other, sitting and watching the snow melt, laying on the floor "playing." I can only imagine that these experiences together will only get better as she gets older and interacts more. I absolutely love these times together, and I fear that they will go by way too quickly. And so I am doing my best to cherish and value my days as a stay at home parent, and I have the utmost envy for those folks who have the privilege of doing this every day.
Yeah, its tough. But its certainly beautiful.
I could ramble about all of the things you talk about in this post, but I just wanted to send a belated thank you for posting it. All stay at home parents have days when it is difficult to focus on how amazing our job is, because of mood or stress or whatever, and I was having that kind of day this Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteThere are ups and downs, to be sure, but at the end of the day, mine is the best job in the world, bar none, and I am blessed beyond measure. Thanks for helping get that fact back in front of me with this earlier this week with this post!
And enjoy those days with your little girl. It's so cheesy to say, but it's true: the days go by faster than you can possibly imagine.
Thanks for the comment Matt. I'm glad it was a helpful reminder. I admit, I have been jealous of your "job" for years, and I look forward to many more years of talking together about how wonderful it is to raise our children at home!
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