Friday, July 31, 2009

Powerful Video


This music video of Michael Franti reminds me a lot of the "Everything Must Change" tour video - website here, video here , and my reflections here


Dangerous Meditation


Toward the end of Thomas Merton's "Contemplative Prayer," there is a short and incredibly convicting chapter. Merton describes an approach to meditation that is merely a device for putting off true change, and is actually works to "confirm us in delusions and harden us against that fundamental awareness of our real condition, against the truth for which our hearts cry out in desperation."

How often does religion and "faith" work in this manner of a placebo pill, a feel-good effect to prevent me from true transformation? The work of the Spirit is uncomfortable, challenging and often painful, but brings about Christ-like change. Too often I try to mimic and copy what I think that should look like, producing my own preconceived effects that are not genuine, but close enough replicas that they can pass for the time being.

More from Merton:

"What we need is not a false peace which enables us to evade the implacable light of judgment, but the grace courageously to accept the bitter truth that is revealed to us; to abandon our inertia, our egoism and submit entirely to the demands of the Spirit, praying earnestly for help, and giving ourselves generously to every effort asked of us by God." (italics in original)

It is easy for me to forget that true discipleship is a hell-of-a-lotta work! I want it to be easy, to be simple and be finished with one prayer or one brief glance at a Psalm. But the work of the contemplative is work, and it is continuous. When the burning coal of desire is placed within our hearts, we can never be satisfied until we drink from the water of life. But if our desire is inauthentic and self-imposed, we will be satisfied with our own devices of religious satiation. Only an authentic and close-up encounter with God will create in our hearts the unending desire for God himself.

Otherwise, as Merton says, we will be "confirmed in the arrogance, the impenetrable self-assurance of the Pharisee. We will be come impervious to the deepest truths. We will be closed to all who do not particpate in our illusion. We will live 'good lives' that are basically inauthentic, 'good' only as long as they permit us to remain established in our respectable and impermeable identities. The 'goodness' of such lives depends on the security afforded by relative wealth, recreation, spiritual comfort, and a solid reputation for piety. Such 'goodness' is preserved by routine and the habitual avoidance of serious risk- indeed of serious challenge. In order to avoid apparaent evil, this pseudo-goodness will ignor the summons of genuine good. It will prefer routine duty to courage and creativity. in the end it will be content with established procedures and safe formulas, while turning a blind eye to the greatest enormities of injustice and uncharity."

I have rarely read a more convicting description than that. The challenge of true faith is one that calls me to abandon the safe, publicly sanctioned, religious life; and instead follow with unabated passion the call of Jesus Christ.

The final line of the chapter is a poignant challenge to those who are unwilling to reconsider the implications of the ancient faith in a new and changing world. Merton states, "Such are the routines of piety that sacrifice everything else in order to preserve the comforts of the past, however inadequate and however shameful they may be in the present...If necessary, it also fabricates condemnations and denunciations of those who risk new ideas and new solutions."

I resonate with the truth of Merton's words, and I marvel that they were written decades ago. And I'm left to consider my own inauthenticity, my own manipulation of God and faith for the purposes of my own self comfort and assurance, repenting of times when I have "misused the name of God." And I also read words that finally put clear language on the discomfort I feel with so much of the American church, and I am further convinced of the need to break out into new frontiers of courageous Christian faith, discovering new ideas and solutions.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Highlights from 1 Timothy


I read through the first epistle to Timothy this morning, and a few lines caught my attention. Here they are:
"This is a trustworthy saying: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst."

"God's unlimited patience"

"Hold onto the deep truth of the faith"

"We have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe"

"Do not neglect your gift"

"Pursue gentleness - fight the good fight of the faith."

"God...who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see."




Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A Take on Take on Me?


I'm fully excited about Anchor&Braille, the side project from the lead singer of Anberlin. This article compares the song "Steps in a Dance" (listen to a stream here) to A-ha's "Take on Me" which is another one of my favorite songs. And the video is a classic -



Sunday, July 19, 2009

Quote from "Let Your Life Speak"


"I love the fact that the word humus - the decayed vegetable matter that feeds on the roots of plans - comes from the same root that gives rise to the word humility. It is a blessed etymology. It helps me understand that the humiliating events of life, the events that leave 'mud on my face' or that 'make my name mud,' may create the fertile soil in which something new can grow." - Parker Palmer



Listening to My Life


Have you ever read just the right book at just the right time? Parker Palmer's "Let Your Life Speak" has been that book for me this week. I am coming off of five years teaching at GCCS, punctuated by a surprise dismissal full of uncertainty and frustration, and now fully into a summer of job searches, waiting, wondering and dreaming about my future. Such thinking and living inside my head can really be bad - and so I've been thankful for Palmer's wise words, leading me through the process of discerning my life and the events I've experienced. Certainly these events have an impact on me, but they do not change the core of who I am. Rather, I can look back at my life, and with a careful eye examine the impact between myself and the events I experienced, and start to see the shape of the core of my personhood, and use that knowledge to move forward into my future.

Over the past week, a few lessons about myself have become clear to me. They can be tough to describe, but as this blog is as much for myself as for anyone reading it, I'll do my best and leave it at that.
  1. Because my last job teaching at GCCS ended in small controversy over my ideologies, political and theological viewpoints, I began to define myself as someone who created and thrived upon conflict and "pushing the envelope." Even if I think back to high school, I was always causing a scene in class by asking ridiculous questions and refusing to accept the standard answer. It would be very easy for me to allow the situation and how I left GCCS to define my future employment and life focus as someone who will always be pushing and challenging, in a negative way. But that doesn't have to be the case at all. The past situation does not determine my future, but rather I can learn from what I experienced. I can learn that I am a person who strongly desires truth and authenticity, most of all within myself. I do not regret that my convictions brought me to a place where I had to give up what I loved most, namely the opportunity to teach students. But these convictions do not have to result in conflict in the future, rather I simply must find a place and job in which my convictions find a home and I am free to truly be myself.
  2. I easily project onto other people my own flaws. It is easy for me to look back and blame a dozen other people rather than myself. But the truth is that I certainly have had a role to play in every situation of my life! And it is cowardly to blame others rather than to recognize in myself the causes of the conflict or negative situation. Recognizing these causes within myself doesn't necessarily mean these are things I need to change (for example, my convictions about truth), but I still have to realize that the fault lies within myself if it is anywhere. I refuse to take the path of blame, pointing to others instead of myself.
  3. I know that I am a strong leader; however there is a great potential for danger within my leadership. One aspect that Palmer speaks of is using my extroverted personality to cover up my own self-doubt and uncertainties of my identity. I fully recognize that I am very concerned about what other people think of me - and that is a huge danger. Such concern will lead to trying to manipulate situations and people to work out in a way that makes me look good, instead of working for truth and authenticity. I must be willing to be humiliated, to be honest with who I am and my flaws, even when I don't want other people to know about them. A flip side of this fact is that I do not want the events of the past to continue to cause me to doubt myself. I am responsible, yes, but that does mean I have regrets or that my personal value is diminished. In the past year, God has reminded me again and again of the words he spoke to Jesus: "You are my son, whom I love, and I'm pleased with you." These are powerful words that God speaks to all of us. (Henri Nouwen's book "Life of the Beloved" helped me understand this even more).
There are certainly more lessons that I could try to describe, but the underlying principle is that our lives tell us so much about ourselves, if we are willing to listen. And I have to be true to myself so that I can offer myself and my talents to the world. If I am merely trying to replicate what I have seen, or mask my true identity, I will do more harm than good.

I'm looking forward to my future, especially my future with God. One thing that has become clear to me as I've looked back over my life is that I sincerely and deeply love God - whatever form that might take and whatever that might mean at some point in time. But the love of Jesus is a huge part of my life, and I know it will continue to be that way.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Tug of war...


...with the vacuum cord

Who do you follow on Twitter?


I have a back and forth debate with myself regarding who to follow on Twitter. Most people who write blogs also have a Twitter account. But there is a distinct different in the blog posts and the "tweets." Most blog posts are regarding a topic, are worthwhile to read, and spark discussion. Most tweets are simply mundane updates about life.

I really enjoy Twittering and use it almost every day. But I'm never sure who to follow! Do I really want to know that the author of some blog that I follow who lives in California is eating hot dogs for dinner? Or is having a game night with youth group? I kind of feel like I'm eavesdropping in on conversations or lives of people who I honestly don't know, have never met, and probably won't ever meet - even if I did, what would I say? "Hey, I follow your tweets. How was that hot dog you had a week ago?"

So I'm going through and cleaning out some of the people who I recognize I don't know personally, and who only do personal updates. Others, for examples @LenSweet, uses Twitter for sparking conversation, posting quick facts or questions, and I think I'll continue to follow him and others like him.

What about you? How do you choose who to follow on Twitter?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Love, Marriage and the Movies: A Theory


I went to see "The Proposal" with my wife and some friends this past weekend - and it actually wasn't that bad. It's funny though, how when you go to a romantic comedy, all of the previews before the movie are for other romantic comedies. I noticed a similar plot line after about the 4th preview, and it goes something like this:
  • Person struggles with life, mainly because they don't have love
  • Has the potential to find love with a certain someone, but there are challenges
  • Finds wonderfully exciting, new and unique (movie-worthy) love
  • End of movie.
This plot line makes for a cute and fun movie, but after we see a few hundred movies like this, we start to think that is how life actually works. Not so much in the first three points, but in the final one: Life ends once we find love. I noticed that very few movies are about the 20, 30, 40 or 50 years of wonderful marriage that people who fall in love enjoy together. They are always about finding love, then it ends.

Perhaps this is the message that we are being sold again and again: The story ends once you find love, once you get the girl, once you have the great wedding and the beautiful picture, that is the highest point of life and the climax and after that it's not really worth living, let alone making a movie about. Having just read Shane Hipps' "Flickering Pixels," I can't help but think about the sub-surface message that is sent simply by the medium of watching Hollywood movies - something like: "This is an example of a life that is really worth something, and if your life doesn't match this in some regard, no one really cares."

The result is obvious: We seek romantic, exciting and passionate love in life, but once we find it, we easily give it up for the next affair or the next exciting encounter. We have forgotten that the truly exciting thing is living together, going through life, supporting and growing together throughout our entire lives!

This is the same in our relationship with God - evangelicals love to overemphasize the conversion story, and we give testimonies that are exciting, full of ups and downs, and then have a wonderful conclusion of when we "found Jesus," - The End. But we all know that isn't the end, but only the beginning of the really exciting part of life, namely living and walking in step with God every day. And it's also true of love and marriage.

I don't want to find love - I want to live in love every day, whether they decide to make a movie about it or not.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

New favorite Hillsong (song)




Sorry for the YouTube embedding to play music, but it's all I could find -


Sunday, July 5, 2009

Digging Cooliris


Cooliris has been improved, and is a stellar add-on for Firefox 3.5 - a screen shot below from my google search for "prayer" - this is much easier (and more fun!) than continuing to click "next" on a list of results. And it works with facebook, news clips, video, etc. Really cool.

Thinking about Spiritual Disciplines


I've had a few conversations this past week with folks about "spiritual disciplines," and questions like "What did you read today?" or "How do you practice the disciplines?" have come up. I absolutely love the spiritual disciplines - fasting, meditation, prayer, solitude, etc.- and I have taught a freshmen class about them for four years. But while thinking about these questions and reading a few different books, something really struck me.

First a quote from a book that came highly recommended, but I have found to be rather disappointing:
"We must come to see ourselves as living in two very different worlds. Out outer, or public, word is easier to deal with....consists of work, play, possessions....But our inner world is more spiritual in nature. Here is a center in which choices and values can be determined, where soliutde and reflection might be pursued. It is a place for conducting worship and confession, a spot where the moral and spiritual pollution of the times need not penetrate."(pg 12)
I have not read the rest of the book, but I would guess that the author will continue by explaining if individuals will practice discipline in their "inner" "spiritual" world then things will be properly aligned in their "outer" "public" world. And there is some truth to that approach. However, it misses a significant and profound truth of human life: We are physical and spiritual beings, together. There can be no division, and in fact to create one does more damage than good. Our spiritual life is informed by our daily "public" life, and vice versa. We cannot think that we can create "a spot where...the times need not penetrate," but rather the very opposite - the times of our daily life must penetrate our inner life if we are to be genuine, whole spiritual creatures.

Thomas Merton speaks of this brilliantly in Contemplative Prayer over the course of several chapters, and he concludes by stating the following:
"The unhappy result of this exaggerated division has been a great deal of confusion on both sides. But at the present time it is once again becoming clear that the problem is a false one and that the true vocation of the monks...is not to fight for contemplation against action, but to restore the ancient, harmonious and organic balance between the two. Both are necessary. Martha and Mary are sisters...neither can approach the throne of God without the other."
It is easy to approach the spiritual disciplines like we approach physical exercise, as just one activity to accomplish and then move on with the rest of the day. But, as Oswald Chambers says, "Prayer is not an exercise, it is the life." To make a division between our spiritual and our public life only leads to frustration, then separation from "the world," and further isolation within our "safe" and "spiritual" circles.

Every moment of the day, whether in prayer, reading, worship, work, conversation, driving, or watching television is a spiritual exercise, drawing the believer closer to God and dwelling in his Presence. Thus spiritual discipline is not a "once-in-a-while" activity, but it is a disciplined and balanced life.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Great new song from Derek Webb




I think this is the song that is causing some delay in the release of his album as well - really interesting stuff


Friday, July 3, 2009

Home of Refuge


Kellye did some work on this orphanage back in 2006, and since then we have followed the ministry and work of Tony and Rosa. Each month they send out a newsletter, and this month's was particularly powerful. Please read it below, and then check out the website, www.homeofrefuge.org

July 2009
This Ministry of Reconciliation


Submitted by on Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Tony & Yudy

Powerful in its beauty is the realization that Christ left the glory of Heaven to put on skin, so even the poorest and most simple among men could see God, touch God, walk with God, and experience God. "That God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself," the Scripture describes, and He has given us this same "ministry of reconciliation." This month I want to lift the veil, so to speak, and offer you a closer look at how this ministry of reconciliation is transforming beloved children in Honduras.

She wasn't really supposed to be conceived, not if you consider HOW it came about anyway! A child's grandfather and father aren't supposed to be the same man, unless something horrific has been happening—which it had been. Yudy Carolina Caballero Fernandez, a child of incest, is just 6 years old and was given to us by the authorities after they discovered that her grandfather (now in prison) had been having sexual relations with each of his four daughters. To rescue her out of that life, the authorities chose for her to come to the Home of Refuge, and now we are given the same powerful opportunity of showing Yudy what God looks like wrapped in skin. In this ministry of reconciling her to God, and a correct knowledge of the Father, we believe Yudy will experience total restoration. Our focus for now is to give her a lot of love, attention and prayer.

For Kevin Mauricio Paz Vigel, our baby of 53 days old, the ministry of reconciliation seems a bit easier. He just needs a chance to grow up—to be raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord—yet he has no one else to give him that chance. His mother handed him to us, stating she cannot care for him, and then she was gone. Kevin could have grown up completely blind to the Truth, but it is God who has preordained that Kevin should know Him, and so He is IN US reconciling Kevin to Himself. It will happen one day at a time as Kevin comes to the knowledge of God while growing up in the Home of Refuge. What a blessing to have one so young to impact, before all of the wounds of life have made their mark.

So what does "God with skin on" look like for the rest of the children who are not new to the Home of Refuge? For Eduviges, He's a father who will not ever hurt her. But He's also the One who is slow to anger and full of forgiveness. You see, Eduviges has told us that she cannot forgive her dad for the way he violated her for two years. She is full of anger and unforgiveness, but God wants Eduviges reconciled to Himself…the REAL Him. To the degree that she beholds the truth of how God is, she has the opportunity to become like Him. And so, we patiently love on her, teaching her that He is rich in mercy.

Kevin Mauricio

For Jose Javier, "God with skin on" must be a refuge and a defender. Jose Javier has always tried to defend himself and his sisters from the terrifying acts of his earthly father. Now God, IN US, is teaching Jose Javier what God looks like as a strong tower and a place of safety. He is being reconciled to God bit by bit as he sees in us the nurturing care of a Good Father. He is not only learning that with God he can let his guard down and still be okay, but also that God cares deeply for (and is tender with) those Javier holds dear to his heart.

All of the children, like all of us, have "lenses" through which they view God, based upon their past experiences. We know that God has given us a powerful ministry of reconciliation whereby God through us (IN us) is restoring their hearts to Himself. It is not easy; neither is it glamorous. It is challenging! It is relentless in its trials, but eternal in its rewards. I take time to remind you this month of your value in this ministry of reconciliation. In "lifting the veil" to give you a better glimpse of what happens at the Home of Refuge, I cannot fail to mention how much your giving and your prayers have made it possible for even one to be rescued, to be restored. God has not changed: He still chooses to "put skin on" in order to reconcile the world. Only this time it is you and I.



Thursday, July 2, 2009

Darsi's Summer Cut


So Darsi just got her hair cut much shorter for the summer. The goal was to keep her cooler, and to give her hair some room to grow because it was getting pretty long. Here are two pictures of her before the haircut. See how fluffy she looks?

And now after the haircut.....
Is this even the same dog?? We love her anyway.....

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

God's Hidden Agenda


"I just don't see God working anywhere in my life or in the world around me."

Many people express this sentiment in frustration, disappointment and wonder. "Where is God?" could easily be in the top 10 of all questions asked.

Perhaps God is working under the surface, behind the scenes, in a covert operation of grace. And if we are willing to take a little bit deeper breath, listen a tad more attentively, we sense his presence in an overwhelming way.

God isn't concerned with getting all the credit, but he is willing to take all the blame. He is more concerned with people finding true life, love and peace in the world. And that may not be through the expected channels normally associated with God. It may be in a hidden, subtle, and even imperceptible manner. But nevertheless, it is God working in a profound way.

The aim of contemplation is to "awake" to God's ever-present Presence. He is here. He is working. Perhaps this is why Paul so adamantly commands us to "Rejoice in the Lord," because when we talk with each other about the cool things that are happening, our vision is expanded, and we begin to peel back the shroud, realizing that God is at work - he always has been, and we can expect him to continue working, transforming, redeeming the world.

Achieving his hidden agenda - and one day we will all rejoice.

Twitter Tracker!!