Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Pilgrim's Way (Part Two)
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I've been thinking today about being on a journey, searching for God, searching for life and meaning.
Another aspect of this journey that has struck me as interesting, is how much I want to know the end goal. I want the information and knowledge that only God has. I am not content to just walk alongside him on the day by day.
Especially in America, especially in the current economic situation, I feel a lot of pressure to have a financial plan, to know how I will pay bills and purchase food and get a better cell phone. Contrary to these pressures, I've had an interesting experience this month in which our finances are better than they have ever been, and yet we expected August to be a month where we would be struggling to not spend at all. But we've received income, some we expected and others we didn't, during the time when we needed it most.
Am I really willing to pray every day, "Lord, give me today my daily bread?" Or am I praying, "Lord please give me assurance that I will be able to eat tomorrow, next week, next month, and all year."
A short devotional thought from Oswald Chambers' classic "My Utmost For His Highest" has always stuck with me: "God will not tell you the future. He will tell you about himself."
On my pilgrim journey, am I content with finding God? Or do I need to find my own success, my own career, my own pride? I think these questions are incredibly formative for me right now, and I know what I should answer, but working through those answers brings more discord and tension within me than I have experienced in my life before.
I've been thinking today about being on a journey, searching for God, searching for life and meaning.
Another aspect of this journey that has struck me as interesting, is how much I want to know the end goal. I want the information and knowledge that only God has. I am not content to just walk alongside him on the day by day.
Especially in America, especially in the current economic situation, I feel a lot of pressure to have a financial plan, to know how I will pay bills and purchase food and get a better cell phone. Contrary to these pressures, I've had an interesting experience this month in which our finances are better than they have ever been, and yet we expected August to be a month where we would be struggling to not spend at all. But we've received income, some we expected and others we didn't, during the time when we needed it most.Am I really willing to pray every day, "Lord, give me today my daily bread?" Or am I praying, "Lord please give me assurance that I will be able to eat tomorrow, next week, next month, and all year."
A short devotional thought from Oswald Chambers' classic "My Utmost For His Highest" has always stuck with me: "God will not tell you the future. He will tell you about himself."
On my pilgrim journey, am I content with finding God? Or do I need to find my own success, my own career, my own pride? I think these questions are incredibly formative for me right now, and I know what I should answer, but working through those answers brings more discord and tension within me than I have experienced in my life before.
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