Jesse A. Schroeder

That was the start of an up and down "friendship" in which Joe would call me every few months, always in a new state of emergency. For the first few months, my friends and I really tried to help him out. We gave him clothes, hygiene items, and hundreds of dollars for food, rent, paperwork, and transportation. We were doing our best to be generous. We also spent time hanging out. He came to our cohort gatherings, and we watched the NBA playoffs together. 

Later, we found out that Joe had a serious drug problem, and he had been in and out of rehab and jail for most of his adult life. He had several warrants out for his arrest for crimes such as drug possession and DUIs, all in various counties around central Ohio. As I would pick Joe up from the various gas stations and drive him around town to get food or cigarettes, I learned more about the judicial system from the standpoint of the convicted than any class could ever teach me. 

I tried to form a meaningful friendship with Joe. I went to church with him in his home neighborhood and I met his pastor. He helped me with some simply outdoor work around my house. He met some members of my family, and I knew his girlfriend. We sat around a fire late one night, eating s'mores and drinking lite beers, just talking about past girlfriends, mistakes we had made, and goals for the future. 

For most of the year and a half that I knew Joe, he was in prison. I visited him twice, and wrote to him frequently. Letters from prison are humbling to receive and more difficult to write. The last time I saw Joe, I picked him up from prison more than 2 hours away, at 8am in the morning. We drove back to Columbus, talking about how things were going to be different, what his plan was, and how I could help in practical ways, as well as just being a good friend. 

That was August 6th. It was the last day I saw Joe. It was also the last day Joe was alive. I learned today that late in the night of August 6th, Joe overdosed while hanging out with old buddies. 

I learned a lot from Joe. He and I met at a time in my life when I was considering what I wanted to do for a career, and I was starting to consider social work. Talking to Joe was challenging, and he was someone who was a "burden on the system" in every classic sense. He only knew how to ask for help from other people, and he didn't know how to help himself in any real way. He was a homeless addict and a convict. But I believe that, in his heart, he was a good guy. 

When I would hang out with Joe, I saw all of the problems of "the system" in person, right before my eyes. But I also was filled with a desire to help him in any way I could. And the more we hung out, the more I learned about human behavior, the patterns of an addict, and the social welfare system. I don't think the system works all that great, but I'm not sure its the fault of the system. Its a complex challenge, trying to change human nature and revert decades of addictive behavior. In the end, all you can do is love someone, regardless of what they do with the money you give them. 

I thankful for Joe, and I'll always remember him as my friend. 

First, it is very humbling to receive gifts from people! We have received valuable gifts of time, food, service and simply money from people we would have never expected. Even more significantly, we continue to hear from people that they are praying for us and for Aleli. It is an extremely humbling experience for two people such as Kel and myself, two people who try to be strong, self-sufficient and capable at all times. 

We are accustomed to being the ones who give, and when you give, you are actually in power. But right now, we are weak and we are in need. That's hard to admit, but its easier when friends and family show support in a loving way. That feeling of being cared for, loved, and knowing that you are not alone is a very unique experience. 

Second, I am realizing the real value of a meal. We have received several meals, some cooked, some picked up from fast food, some brought fresh to our house specific to our order from our favorite restaurant. These meals are so important to us right now! There is something special about eating food that was prepared out of love and concern. Furthermore, it is saving us so much time and money. Some nights, we come home from the NICU around 9pm or later, and its a blessing to have dinner already simmering in the crockpot. And we haven't had to go to the store in 2 weeks! (Of course one week we were in the hospital, so....)

Because I now realize the importance of these meals, I told Kellye tonight that I always want to help others out in this way when they are in need. I used to think it wasn't a big deal, but now I realize how important providing a simply meal for someone can be. 

Finally, Kellye and I are continually in awe at the beauty and joy of being in God's big family and God's great kingdom. We are blessed with so many friends from years of shared experiences in God's kingdom, and there support means that much more because we know it comes from the heart of God. I believe that the value of the gift is more than the gift itself, simply because it is given. Or, in other words, a $20 meal brought to our house is worth many times more than $20, because it was brought to our house during our time of need. 

So, I am humbled. I am full of good food. And I'm loving life in God's big family. 

Kel and I traveled to North Carolina this weekend for the wedding of a good friend. It took place in a beautiful park and that afforded us the chance to take some fun pictures. The wedding was windy, but beautiful. They had large tents set up for the reception, which reminded me so much of our own wedding, almost 8 years ago now.